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rslade
Influencer II

The CISSP Song

CISSP Song
Lyrics by Rob Slade slade@victoria.tc.ca rslade@vcn.bc.ca rslade@gmail.com

Sung to the tune of "The Major General's Song," from "Pirates of Penzance," by Gilbert and Sullivan


CISSP (solo):
I am a Certifiable Security Professional
I've countermeasures physical, administrative, technical
I know the ports of TCP and backdoors with malign intent
And survey risk analysis to prove the safeguards wisely spent
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters of the blackhat crew
Attendance on the IRC phrack channel makes my colleagues stew
With viruses and zero days I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news

CISO Chorus:
With many cheerful facts about the weaknesses in Usenet news (etc.)

CISSP:
I'm very good at ACLs and mandatory access modes
I know the disassembled names of CPU compare opcodes
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

CISSP:
I know our mythic history, LaPadula, Biba, and Bell
I know the biometric facts, memorized CERs as well
I understand the lattice, roles, rules, and discretion base
And pseudorandomize my keys to maximize the address space
I've tokens, tickets, one-time passwords, smart cards and a kerberos
And Centralized Remote Authentication to remove the dross
I'm proof against the DoS, Man-in-the-Middle and brute force attacks
My proprietary off-the-shelf stuff's licenced and it never cracks.

Chorus:
His proprietary off-the-shelf's all licenced and it never cracks.

CISSP:
My audit logs are analysed, detect intrusions evey time
My legal counsel's up to date with all the best computer crime
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
In short, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!

CISSP:
In fact when I know what is meant by "data link" and "twisted pair"
When I can tell a fibre optic cable from a trigger hair
When Internet Explorer I no longer use the Web to surf
Or let my users chat on IRC on all my network turf
When I have learnt that firewalls can filter out the packets bad
When I know that the guy with foreign bank accounts might be a cad
In short when I've a wee bit of professional paranoia
You'll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.

Chorus:
You'll say a better CISSP has never addressed yuh.

CISSP:
For my security training, managerial though it may be
Lacks practical direction and real-world applicability
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
I am the very model of an infosec professional!

Chorus:
But still, in matters physical, administrative, technical
He is the very model of an infosec professional!


............

Other posts: https://community.isc2.org/t5/forums/recentpostspage/user-id/1324864413

This message may or may not be governed by the terms of
http://www.noticebored.com/html/cisspforumfaq.html#Friday or
https://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/1468
13 Replies
dcontesti
Community Champion

OM, I missed the original post, but I have to ask, if we ever meet up (in Person) are we suppose to put our hands on our hearts, salute each other and sing this song?

 

Just curious as I am tone deaf and I scare little children when I sing 😉

 

d

 

Shannon
Community Champion


@dcontesti wrote:

OM, I missed the original post, but I have to ask, if we ever meet up (in Person) are we suppose to put our hands on our hearts, salute each other and sing this song?

 

Just curious as I am tone deaf and I scare little children when I sing 😉

 

d

 


Assuming @rslade planned for this when he composed it, there'll be a rehearsal first --- & to mitigate risks we can ensure there aren't kids in the vicinity   Man Wink

 

 

 

Shannon D'Cruz,
CISM, CISSP

www.linkedin.com/in/shannondcruz
j_M007
Community Champion

The ultra-secret CISSP salute!
rslade
Influencer II

> dcontesti (Community Champion) posted a new reply in Welcome on 03-20-2019 05:36

> but I have to ask, if we ever meet up (in
> Person) are we suppose to put our hands on our hearts, salute each other and
> sing this song?

What? You don't do this already?

====================== (quote inserted randomly by Pegasus Mailer)
rslade@vcn.bc.ca slade@victoria.tc.ca rslade@computercrime.org
To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to
contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's
life. - T. S. Eliot
victoria.tc.ca/techrev/rms.htm http://twitter.com/rslade
http://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/author/p1/
https://is.gd/RotlWB

............

Other posts: https://community.isc2.org/t5/forums/recentpostspage/user-id/1324864413

This message may or may not be governed by the terms of
http://www.noticebored.com/html/cisspforumfaq.html#Friday or
https://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/1468