Anger management and security

[j_M007]

I chose this section because it seems very à propos.owing to some of the rather caustic posts lately:

1. If you're angry, take some time before furiously trolling the boards.
2. If someone offers advice, s/he may be wrong, s/he may be right, s/he may have some truth to the comment. Don't discount advice. 
3. Realize that people usually don't mean to offend. If they have offended you, just be matter of fact. You can message them privately, or you can have it out with them in public (your mileage may vary whatever you choose.)

Fewer people seem to embrace courtesy these days; likely because many of our leaders think insulting and ridiculing their colleagues (political or commercial) is "good governance."

Societies that give in to that are diminished and disempowered.

I put this is "Career" because, when you learn the power of courtesy and tact, you will go far when you embrace it.

Good luck to everyone on their respective career paths.

[Early_Adopter]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8L6KGuTr9TI

[j_M007]

Send in the IT CLOWNS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1u5jO57eD-U

Your computer is in sleep mode..

[Steve-Wilme]

Strange, but you hardly ever see an apology; oh yeah, I see your point now on these boards.  Strange, because we're all fallible.  Eisenhower put it well "Always try to associate yourself with and learn as much as you can from those who know more than you do, who do better than you, who see more clearly than you."

[PC509]

On another forum, someone asked why I use the smile emoji at the end of some of my posts. It's to let them know that my post wasn't to be taken as negative as it might sound. There is no tone on the internet, and some written posts can sound bad. Even a simple disagreement can be taken as offensive or an angry tone when it's not intended to be. So, I do think that it can go both ways. Some things may sound like the poster was angry but it was far from their intention. So, that #3 on your list is pretty big, IMO. 

Oh, I don't think this came off as harsh or anything, but just since I mentioned it - 🙂 

[rslade]

> PC509 (Viewer) posted a new reply in Career on 09-18-2018 02:35 PM in the

> On another forum, someone asked why I use the smile emoji at the end of some of
> my posts. It's to let them know that my post wasn't to be taken as negative as
> it might sound.

Yes. It is well known that no one is allowed to take offense at anything you say if
you add a smiley at the end, you festering pile of donkey droppings 🙂

> There is no tone on the internet, and some written posts can
> sound bad.

Quite true. The use of words intended merely to promote alliteration can lead to
misunderstandings, Professor Putrid Pile of Pustulant Prunes 🙂

> Even a simple disagreement can be taken as offensive or an angry tone
> when it's not intended to be.

Absolutely. The mere statement that you know nothing about netiquette and
shouldn't be allowed to own an Internet account might be taken as offensive,
regardless of intent 🙂

> So, I do think that it can go both ways.

There are good points on both sides 🙂

> Some
> things may sound like the poster was angry but it was far from their intention.

Intent matters most, so if you take offense at words you are stupid, ignorant, and
useless 🙂

>     Oh, I don't think this came
> off as harsh or anything, but just since I mentioned it -

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! 🙂

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[dcontesti]

I tend to agree with a lot of what you have said, however, when folks use terms like "Scam", "Fraud", "we will see how this comes out in Court"........there is anger or maybe frustration on the sender's part so we try to lay down some rules that limit this type of behaviour......unfortunately, no emoji is going to solve the issue when someone is called a troll or something similar.

Even without tone on the internet, some messages just should not be sent.......

My rule of thumb for messages, write once, read twice, rewrite once and read again, and then think about sending it.  And when in doubt, ignore the comment.

I personally do not want to see the Community used as a means of "I will get them to do what I want by screaming "Scam" or "you're a troll""  I still want this to be a place where we can share information, learn from each other and sometimes poke fun at each other.

Regards

Diana

[PC509]

Yes, of course. Definitely agree 100%. However, there are some times when it's less evident of their tone. Calling someone a fraud, etc. is pretty clear. However, some disagree and you're not really sure if they are saying it in an angry fashion, or it's not a big deal to them but they want to make their voice heard and someone takes it the wrong way. Even with proofreading, going back a few times. Sometimes, it's not the poster or the reader, but a combination of both. Depends on the mood of each, how they take the comment, etc.. Hopefully, people can get along and discuss things without escalating things and remain professional. I just see some posts where there are a couple other replies then the "Sorry, that wasn't my intention at all" post. On some forums, it's fairly common. 

[j_M007]

Sounds like a good rule of thumb. Unfortunately, our reptilian brain takes over in situations where we perceive threat (we often react to threat as if this is mortal danger and the rage instinct - fight - takes over.) I have seen it in the best of people, who sadly turn into the worst owing to an unfortunate action, causing injury or death.

It's not an excuse; however, taking measures such as you suggest; or counting backwards from 100 subtracting 3 each time, can help us get over these events.

In the meantime, wouldn't it be great if from nursery on up our care givers could imbue in us the Golden Rule of Courtesy: "Say (do) unto others what you have them say (do unto you"?

[Early_Adopter]

Only get the special limbic Attack brain out when it’s really critical to alienate everyone that could help you... there was a Samuel Jackson line about the comprehensive application of AK47s to a particular section of a domicile from the cimentation adaptation of ‘Rum Punch’ that goes quite well with this I believe.

I do like ‘Treat others as they would like to be treated(within reason and resources’ as an alternative to how you or I would like to be treated.

lastly the ‘condor moment’ is a good concept:

http://www.manage-and-thrive.co.uk/the-condor-moment

It really boils down to ‘go and have a smoke’ and came from advertising, but it’s good to defocus and have a think/chat/do something with your hands. 

[Caute_cautim]

Quite simply, count to 10 before responding to an e-mail or social media outlet. 

'

I have seen in my working life, explosions in human form - they are ugly situations, they need very careful handling to quickly defuse them and allow people to cool off.

Realise the situation, walk away, calm down, and think it over - what is making you angry?

Sleep on it, and many times, not responding immediately can provide clarity to a situation.

Good sage advice

Regards

Caute_cautim