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j_M007
Community Champion

Anger management and security

I chose this section because it seems very à propos.owing to some of the rather caustic posts lately:

  1. If you're angry, take some time before furiously trolling the boards.
  2. If someone offers advice, s/he may be wrong, s/he may be right, s/he may have some truth to the comment. Don't discount advice. 
  3. Realize that people usually don't mean to offend. If they have offended you, just be matter of fact. You can message them privately, or you can have it out with them in public (your mileage may vary whatever you choose.)

Fewer people seem to embrace courtesy these days; likely because many of our leaders think insulting and ridiculing their colleagues (political or commercial) is "good governance."

 

Societies that give in to that are diminished and disempowered.

 

I put this is "Career" because, when you learn the power of courtesy and tact, you will go far when you embrace it.

 

Good luck to everyone on their respective career paths.

34 Replies
rslade
Influencer II

> j_M007 (Contributor II) posted a new reply in Career on 09-18-2018 04:42 PM in

>    In the meantime, wouldn't it be great if from nursery on
> up our care givers could imbue in us the Golden Rule of Courtesy: "Say (do) unto
> others what you have them say (do unto you"?

Actually, in the case of online communications, even that doesn't work.  One of the first pieces I published on the net (it wasn't even called the Internet, yet, way back than) was on the fact that messaging systems are almost designed to create misunderstandings.  Culturally, we tend to give greater weight to written communications than to verbal.  However, the ease of online messaging sets up a disparity: we consider our postings to be "verbal" (since they are easy), but anything we read to be "written" (since they are, well, written).

Therefore, we tend to assume, like @PC509, that anything we send should be considered a light and off-the-cuff joke, but anything someone else writes to us is a deadly serious insult.  Even if it is exactly the same wording.  Don't say unto others what you (think) you would have them say unto you: always back your tone off several notches.


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j_M007
Community Champion

I guess this is of interest in the community. How does it extend into the organization? Are there metrics or indicators that HR security folks use for taking due diligence and due care with the workforce?

 

There are so many ways and means that actively aggressive insiders can take. Then there are the passive aggressive insiders that can wreak havoc not only on equipment, but more on morale  Backbiting, bullying, demeaning takes on more powerful dimensions when done incognito.

 

Are there indicators or triggers out there that perceptive professionals can monitor?

Caute_cautim
Community Champion

@rslade  I like your thought provoking style. 

 

However, it could also mean some anxiety or even mental illness:

 

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/anger-and-social-media/

 

There are many aspects of this from behaviour, to social acceptance and group thinking in terms of it being the norm - "following like sheep" etc; or the other aspect of Wellness and Mental health. 

 

It can also be a cultural aspect, following the norms within the organisation itself.

 

Detecting these adverse behaviours, and resolving them is an important social skill, which in today's pressure pot, will occur more frequently as we progress.

 

Regards

 

Caute_cautim

rslade
Influencer II

> Caute_cautim (Contributor III) mentioned you in a post! Join the conversation

> @rslade  I like your thought provoking style.

I have a style?

>    However, it could also mean
> some anxiety or even mental illness:

I'd be crazy not to be anxious that you might be right. (There is yet another
possibility: I might not exist at all, but simply be some AI experiment gone
horribly wrong, and hooked up to various email addresses ...)
 
>   There
> are many aspects of this from behaviour, to social acceptance and group thinking
> in terms of it being the norm - "following like sheep" etc; or the other aspect
> of Wellness and Mental health.

So, before I was thought provoking, but now I'm just a sheep?

>    It can also be a cultural aspect, following
> the norms within the organisation itself.

How dare you say I'm normal! Or even organized!

>   Detecting these adverse behaviours,
> and resolving them is an important social skill, which in today's pressure pot,
> will occur more frequently as we progress.

Actually, I don't see it happening all that often, particularly as the pressure goes
up ...

====================== (quote inserted randomly by Pegasus Mailer)
rslade@vcn.bc.ca slade@victoria.tc.ca rslade@computercrime.org
As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an
evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil
that they set out to destroy.
- Christopher Dawson, The Judgment of Nations
victoria.tc.ca/techrev/rms.htm http://www.infosecbc.org/links
http://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/author/p1/
http://twitter.com/rslade

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Caute_cautim
Community Champion

Does that mean then we are all too PC?

 

Regards

 

Caute_cautim

PC509
Newcomer I


@Caute_cautim wrote:

Does that mean then we are all too PC?

 

Regards

 

Caute_cautim


In some ways, yes. I was told that when replying to emails, try not to use "Thanks!" because it can come off in a sarcastic way when it's not meant that way. I'm fairly informal when I speak or type most of the time. But, to stay consistent and more formal and more "PC", to use "Thank you." as it can be taken fairly literal and not sarcastically. Replies should be more like the written word, rather than the spoken word. I still find that difficult to do most of the time. That's why I try to make sure it's taken less serious and more of a positive tone and not negative. 

rslade
Influencer II

> Caute_cautim (Contributor III) posted a new reply in Career on 09-19-2018 06:54

> Does that mean then we are all too PC?   Regards   Caute_cautim

Unless you're Mac ...

====================== (quote inserted randomly by Pegasus Mailer)
rslade@vcn.bc.ca slade@victoria.tc.ca rslade@computercrime.org
I reserve the absolute right to be smarter today than I was
yesterday. - Adlai Stevenson
victoria.tc.ca/techrev/rms.htm http://www.infosecbc.org/links
http://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/author/p1/
http://twitter.com/rslade

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Caute_cautim
Community Champion


@rslade wrote:
> Caute_cautim (Contributor III) posted a new reply in Career on 09-19-2018 06:54

> Does that mean then we are all too PC?   Regards   Caute_cautim

Unless you're Mac ...

====================== (quote inserted randomly by Pegasus Mailer)
rslade@vcn.bc.ca slade@victoria.tc.ca rslade@computercrime.org
I reserve the absolute right to be smarter today than I was
yesterday. - Adlai Stevenson
victoria.tc.ca/techrev/rms.htm http://www.infosecbc.org/links
http://blogs.securiteam.com/index.php/archives/author/p1/
http://twitter.com/rslade

Okay, Okay - I will be an IBM Z14 with full pervasive encryption.

 

Or I can be "Politely Correct".

 

Regards

 

Caute_cautim

Calv1n
Newcomer I


@dcontesti wrote:

Excellent advice on both posts.

 

My gran (a very smart woman) used to say "If you don't have anything nice to say, maybe you should just shut up"

 

 


So true, that is a good piece of sage advice that can apply in any occasions.

 

Daniel-Nash1
Newcomer III

It is always better to take the high road in these situations.  I would be nice to have a forum and additional guidance in protecting our companies and our own professional standing.  With social media, the "Fake News", ignorant leadership, misguided marketing and other venues it can be difficult to wait and "hold your tongue".  

This would be a great topic for our new/upcoming leadership to address along with a great discussion/training opportunity in terms of ethics, leadership and professional communications.